This has absolutely nothing to do with technology but I wanted to preserve it here for posterity. Most comments on the Internet generaly fall out of brain before you've even finished the sentence. But for some reason this one caught my eye. When asked "Hey Reddit, what job sounds awesome but in reality sucks." this was one of the responses:
"Strip club bouncer. The customers were always telling me, "Man, you've got the greatest job in the world! You get paid to stare at naked women all day." To which I would reply, "Have you ever had a really needy girlfriend who's constantly complaining about everything? Well I have 40 or 50 of them, and they never sleep with me. Well, most of them don't."
Plus, you're not paid to watch the dancers, you're paid to watch the horny guys that are trying to turn that lap dance into something illegal. You also have to listen to more discussions about feminine hygiene issues than any guy who isn't an OBGYN should ever be exposed to.
The hourly wage sucks and your tips dry up at the end of every month, because the dancers making $500+ a night can't budget, and rent/mortgage/utilities are due. The best, is when you walk them to their brand new sports car or SUV and they stiff you because they just didn't make enough tonight.
They constantly complain to you about how terrible their boyfriends are, but they never break up with them. Those same loser boyfriends, all of them unemployed guys who spend a lot of time at the gym, come in all the time and expect to be treated like VIPs while simultaneously making sure their girl won't make any money that night. After all, he gets jealous and she doesn't want him getting angry again, so she doesn't try to take any guys to the VIP room.
By the end of a shift, you reek of a heady mixture of cigarette and cigar smoke, stale beer, cheap perfume, sweat, and just plain funk. You'll go through Febreeze like crazy trying to keep the smell from spreading to your car and home. Over time all of your clothes will become permeated by god damn glitter.
And good luck trying to carry on any kind of romantic relationship with a woman outside of work. Telling a girl that you work in a strip club, is like opening a date by detailing exactly why you are a registered sex offender. Or you could always date a stripper. She might even support you, so you could spend more time at the gym. You're nights are free, so you might as well drop by the club and keep an eye on her. You don't want some sleaze ball putting his hands all over your girl do you?
tl;dr Being a strip club bouncer is a smelly, sexually frustrating job, that doesn't pay as well as you might think. "
"Strip club bouncer. The customers were always telling me, "Man, you've got the greatest job in the world! You get paid to stare at naked women all day." To which I would reply, "Have you ever had a really needy girlfriend who's constantly complaining about everything? Well I have 40 or 50 of them, and they never sleep with me. Well, most of them don't."
Plus, you're not paid to watch the dancers, you're paid to watch the horny guys that are trying to turn that lap dance into something illegal. You also have to listen to more discussions about feminine hygiene issues than any guy who isn't an OBGYN should ever be exposed to.
The hourly wage sucks and your tips dry up at the end of every month, because the dancers making $500+ a night can't budget, and rent/mortgage/utilities are due. The best, is when you walk them to their brand new sports car or SUV and they stiff you because they just didn't make enough tonight.
They constantly complain to you about how terrible their boyfriends are, but they never break up with them. Those same loser boyfriends, all of them unemployed guys who spend a lot of time at the gym, come in all the time and expect to be treated like VIPs while simultaneously making sure their girl won't make any money that night. After all, he gets jealous and she doesn't want him getting angry again, so she doesn't try to take any guys to the VIP room.
By the end of a shift, you reek of a heady mixture of cigarette and cigar smoke, stale beer, cheap perfume, sweat, and just plain funk. You'll go through Febreeze like crazy trying to keep the smell from spreading to your car and home. Over time all of your clothes will become permeated by god damn glitter.
And good luck trying to carry on any kind of romantic relationship with a woman outside of work. Telling a girl that you work in a strip club, is like opening a date by detailing exactly why you are a registered sex offender. Or you could always date a stripper. She might even support you, so you could spend more time at the gym. You're nights are free, so you might as well drop by the club and keep an eye on her. You don't want some sleaze ball putting his hands all over your girl do you?
tl;dr Being a strip club bouncer is a smelly, sexually frustrating job, that doesn't pay as well as you might think. "
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